Endless Ramblings: Grow Up

It's been awhile since I've written a blog entry so this is going to be a montage of thought. I've been home for spring break this week and have had some interesting conversations with my dad and my brother-in-law so I'm writing to lay out some thoughts I've come across. Read on if you can follow my ramblings.

My dad is reading a book by Phillip Yancey (I believe it's Disappointment With God). He read aloud a statement Yancey makes which I will paraphrase. He basically compared God communicating with us with us trying to communicate with bacteria on a microscope slide. I thought and rethought the statement. God trying to speak with us is like us trying to speak with microorganisms. This statement goes far beyond a mere comparison in physical size and hits raw reality in our journey to a better relationship with God. God and I, no matter what I do, say, study, or accomplish are always going to be at different levels. He's going to do things that I'm simply never going to understand, and He's going to say things that I'm simply never going to understand. It's not like I can try really, really hard and sit and ponder and all of the sudden shout out "I got it!" God and I, no matter what either of us want, are always going to be fundamentally different. Another comparison is me trying to communicate with my one-year-old niece. I can sit down on the floor with her and begin giving her a detailed explanation of the meaning of life and she'll stare back up at me and grin as she sticks a toy in her mouth. Does she understand anything I'm saying? Not really. If I want to talk so that she'll understand, I have to use simple language - small words and short sentences. Does she understand me now? Sure. But I'll have to leave that explanation on the meaning of life for another time when she's much older because no matter how simple I make the explanation, there are just certain complexities that she'll never understand at her developmental level (do I even understand?). We're fundamentally different in the way we view the world because of our ages. But unlike my niece who will eventually grow up and someday give me her explanation of the meaning of life, I will never "grow up" to God's level. God and I are fundamentally different. It's reality. So the next time I ask God a tough question, I picture Him trying to do His best to explain what He can, but no matter what He says or does to respond, I just wont be able to understand at His level.

The next thought came from a discussion with my brother-in-law this evening. He posed a question from a book he's read in the past (don't remember this one). He asked something like, "are we humble enough to question what we believe?" Now let me answer the "what do you mean by that?" Too often church and religious school has been a place where people are taught to believe a certain way without any exploration of why and those who speak out and question are looked upon as trouble makers. For example, a friend of mine wrote in his blog about questioning one of the "beliefs" that many in my denomination hold regarding baptism. They believe that baptism can only take place after one goes through thorough Bible study and exhibits an understanding of the specific tenets of doctrine of my denomination. He believes that baptism should come first as a response to salvation. He brought up questions in a class but was never really answered. The sense was "just believe what I say." And often when such questions are asked, it is taken as a personal assault on the knowledge of the teacher or an assault on the church.

The issue of when and how baptism should take place may not be that big of a deal to some, but what if people start questioning the nature of God, the process of salvation, the need for forgiveness, or the need for morality? Do we feel like our intelligence has been insulted and respond with a "take my word for it" answer or feel embarrassed when we don't know and try to cover with a generic "that's the way it is"?

True humility comes recognizing that we don't know everything. There is a feeling in some that we have to have it all together, that we need to always have an explanation and there's actually a measure of fear that comes up when someone questions beliefs because beliefs is where many find security. But we don't know everything. No one on the face of this planet has a complete correct picture of knowledge. We all interpret the Bible differently. This verse means such and such and that verse means such and such. Security should not come from our knowledge but should come from God. Do we have the humility to say, "I don't know?" Do we have the confidence in God to not be afraid when beliefs are questioned? We are going to spend eternity trying to figure out God and what He's done. Let's let him be the focus of our thoughts.